Day to day my life has been directed by this quote: ‘Do the kind of things that come from the heart, When you do, you won’t be dissatisfied, you won’t be envious, you won’t be longing for somebody else’s things. On the contrary, you’ll be overwhelmed with what comes back.’
This quote in its essence is so pure yet it was so cutting. I was faced with a situation where kindness wasn’t the rational reaction. I believe kindness is always the answer regardless of how people treat you – if the person deserves it or not. I know what it feels like to be on the receiving side of someone using you as their punching bag. Hurt people hurt people. And I never want someone to feel that way- ever.
Someone confronted me with the question: ‘why do you do it then, if nothing good comes back?’. For a second I was convinced that they were right: my efforts were in vain. But then just as quick, I came to the realisation. What came back to me was overwhelming. Overwhelmingly good. It just wasn’t evident with regard to that specific person. I wasn’t seeing the harvest of my sowing of persistent kindness, not yet anyways.
Rather than holding on to something that hurts: I decided to be brave and let go. And that’s the scary part. It felt like I was being cowardly and giving up: like I was the one in the wrong for withdrawing my kindness. But in actual fact, it was ok for me to let go. The saying: ‘everything you want is outside of your comfort zone.’ is well known for its truth. I was too comfortable with the way people mistreated me and I was finally brave enough to want out.
As a result, I made some changes in my social life. And change isn’t always a comfortable thing. At the time it sucks. Luckily, it doesn’t stay that way. The process of pruning serves as a basis for new growth. You just need to endure the pain of growth to experience the bliss of blooming.
Initially, I faced doubt but then my situation started improving: admittedly much quicker than I was expecting it to. All the time and attention I placed in proving my worth to people who couldn’t care less about my well-being could be used for something more productive. And so I redirected my energy. Almost automatically my awareness increased. There were so many decent humans surrounding me. All I needed was perspective. I met the most amazing people. Filled with love and kindness. People that just get me. That care and give: beyond reason.
This all started with people’s words. Words that were said without thought but yet were piercing none the less. It made me more aware of the impact words can have. I made a promise to myself and started on a new personal journey this year. I wanted to try this self-love thing out. I changed thoughts of condemnation to one’s that were kind and empathetic – about myself and others. Slowly, this mind-shift seeped into my words and then my actions. This was part of the outset of the overwhelming goodness I started reaping. If you think kind things kindness is bound to come back to you somehow. What you give you get. It’s that simple.
So if you’re in a similar situation: don’t stay because you’re comfortable. There’ll always be something better. Always. Heavy storms bring new rain. New rain bring new beginnings. Be strong enough. To. Let. Go.